Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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