This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
