We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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