Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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