I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
