So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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