when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
