They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
