I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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