People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize