Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
