You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
