in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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