You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
