we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
