i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
