I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
