Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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