You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I would fuck him just for his dog
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
