is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
