im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
