SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
