he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Randomize
