My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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