is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
