She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
