apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
