And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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