Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
