I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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