Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
