I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
