So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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