You made me cry and you don't even care
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
