Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
