The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
