i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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