wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
