so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
