I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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