This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
