I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
