a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
