did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
