think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
