how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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