Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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