Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
