there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
