it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
